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Thursday, October 29, 2009; 10:33 PM
i have really given up.
all that i can do is really limited.
afterall, it stil boils down to their own marriage.
it's between the two of them.
i can do nth.
no matter how hard i try, it's of no use.
i have chosen to give up.
i wont express my disappointment anymore.
Sunday, October 18, 2009; 10:22 PM
if it's for real, i sincerely wish you all the best.
no matter what, no give up living on.
i dun wish to lose you as a fren.
i dun wan to have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life.
being used.
-22daysto Alvl!-Thursday, October 15, 2009; 10:32 PM
dam....for like 2weeks plus i hav been having stomach pains!
after 1 wk cant tahan. went to the see the doc. was told i had stomach flu.
after eating the med. no cure n the pain gt worse.
i went to see another doc. he says it's gastric.
after eating the gastric pills. i din hav anymore pain.
but i lose my appetite n keep feeling nauseous!
to make things worse. you asked me 10qns ystd nite.
in which all. u seem to b blaming me.
dam. so wad u wan me to do?
n today, u kept spamming me with msges dats like full of hurtful words.
so when i finalli replied you.
you asked if we could talk things out nicely?
in the 1st place. i was nver harsh to u!
spare me the agony n leave me alone, will you?
it's getting too hard to bear la.
u throw all ur hurtful words at me,
nxt moment u ask me to forgive u.
when i dun, u start blaming me agn. wth. stop it la.
nonetheless, i still want to wish you all the best
if you are going for op this sunday.
-25DAYS TO ALVLS-
Sunday, October 4, 2009; 10:48 PM
i dunno wad i can do to make u happy within these 6 months.
seriously. i m stil having doubts bout you.
but i guess i will choose to believe you for nw.
i really hope that you can pull thru today n come back to sg.
afterall, u promised me that u would come back.
getting updates from ur sis on ur medical condition is a torture to me.
when i saw the msg dat she sent jus nw.
saying ' few minutes ago, ........'
i really prayed hard, hoping that it's nt few mins ago u passed away.
thankfully, it's nt. but nw. the docs are rescuing you agn.
i hope dat you would rmb ur promise to me n hang on.
Saturday, October 3, 2009; 2:06 PM
last sun dad was admitted into hosp.
mum tot he had a minor stroke. luckily, it's nt.
but after the full body check up. found out dat he has spinal stenosis.
dad's spinal cord canal has narrowed n affected his nerves.
dat's why nw he can't really walk n work.
the only way out for him nw is to go for physiotherapy
so dat he don need to go for op one month ltr.
the op is very risky cux he might become paralyzed.
i realli hope dat physiotherapy would help.
holy crap. i failed my chem agn. it's a U agn! =.=
eugene said dat our class was the last in the whole lvl with onli 4 ppl passing. =(
n i passed my bio with a D! but stil nt very happy with the results.
cux the avg grade for the cohort is C.
n once agn my class is the last agn for bio. jialat alrdy la.
need to go for my consultations n start mugging real hard!
n i have been having stomache since tues!
almost one week alrdy lehs.
my mum suspects there is some growth inside. :(
URGENT! URGENT! URGENT!
THIRTY NINE DAYS TO A LEVELS.
39 DAYS!
BIO MATHS CHEM HIST GP!
OH NO!
Saturday, September 26, 2009; 8:51 PM
drying out my eyes each n every night.
at this rate that i m goin.
i guess i will go blind soon. rofl.
my life is screwed up.
happiness seems so far away.
on a side note. i finally passed my gp.
and my chem is a freaking goner.
wonder wad would eugene say this time round.
the rest of the subj results shud b coming in nxt wk.
hopefully i won't get like two Us again.
Monday, September 21, 2009; 10:26 PM
i m at a lost agn.
after prayin so hard for things to get better.
mum brought dat matter up again.
i m realli dam pissed off n upset.
as to how just one person's sentence can brk my family up.
y cant mum see wad's the person tryin to do n nt believe her words?
tell me y is my family ties so weak.
each time round. i tried hard to strengthen our ties.
yes, it did get better. but the happiness did nt last for long.
jus onli few months. and things turned worse agn.
mum blamed me for nt understanding her feelings.
but does she uds mine?
does she noe hw upset i m to see my family in this state?
does she noe hw hard i tried to keep dis family tgt?
does she get the point i m trying to bring across?
i really hope one day she would see the light and realise wadds realli goin on.
and not to believe every single shit that people say.
i hope it's not too late by then.
Happiness!
Alicia.
February 2009
